Friday, February 5, 2010

A Poem for the Powdery Apocalypse

Beware! O! Baltimore! Beware!

For the first flakes of the apocalypse will soon fall upon us!
Be not distracted by their blinding whiteness, nor their charming uniqueness;
For in each singular geometric shape lays the seed of thy destruction!

Stock up at thy Safeway, thy Super Fresh, even they Shoppers Club
For the first dead will be carried away due to malnurishment;
An affliction hitherto unknown in the Land of Pleasant Living

Do not tread on thy sidewalks or streets the skid demon will have doman over all;
For in all of Mary Land there exists not enough salt to combat the Great White Death!

Beware! O! Baltimore! Beware!


Johnnie Cochran said...

This is good, but you didn't mention how a lack of toilet paper could lead to dysentery and pestilence.

RM said...

Jake are you high on cocaine?

Ben this is the worst poem I've ever read in my life.


RM said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
alyssa said...

Ben how long did you spend on this?

I hope no more than 5 minutes because it's awful.

You are not the next edgar allen poe.

Alanna said...

Oh please, it's just a little snow!!!

Ben said...

You guys are such haters lately. Whatever.

fbg said...

I'm a fan of the vintage style. I'm using the word "vintage" because it's cooler than "old". I can't quite figure out which poet to compare you with, but I like the authentic 16th-century spelling errors and interjections. Those guys were pansies.

This one gets my vote over Alyssa's.

Ben said...

thanks godsey . . . i think.