Why there should be no place for Lance Armstrong in the public sphere

Last week it was announced that Lance Armstrong will be participating in a triathlon.  The immediate message from the racing series Rev3tri was that this race was under the control of their charity partner Ulman Cancer Fund for Young Adults, and that neither Rev3tri nor Armstrong was going to be paid any money from this event.  As if, how can you possibly disagree with any decision that will raise money for young adults with cancer!

Here is where the case against Armstrong is currently.  Less than a month ago Armstrong gave up his fight against the agency responsible for drug testing of US athletes in hundreds of sports - USADA.  His reasoning was that after over a decade of fighting he simply came to the conclusion that "enough is enough."  He felt like the arbitration process was unfair to him and that USADA was out to get him in an "unconstitutional witch hunt."

I'll leave it to the legal experts to discuss the details of the USADA process - but, a federal judge did throw out his case against USADA just before Armstrong gave up his fight.  So - according to the US legal system - the arbitration process that Armstrong signed onto as a professional cyclist and triathlete is fair.

The outcome of Armstrong ending his fight with USADA is that he has a lifetime ban from all cycling and triathlon competitions.  He can't even coach or be part of the management of a professional cycling team.  So how is he able to race at a Rev3 event - a company that is trying to position itself as a rival to Ironman events?  The event can no longer be an official USAT (the official governing body of the triathlon in the US) - which means they had to find alternative insurance for the event and anyone who was racing the event to get USAT points is now out of luck.

But it's all for the kids with cancer!  Some things are bigger than doping!

Just doing a brief count - I have known at least 7 close relatives or friends who have had cancer.  I even had a teammate and friend in college who died of cancer when he was in his Junior year at the age of 21.  He was just a year younger than me.  He was one of those people who you knew would have done a lot of good in this world. His name was Sean Earl - the Loyola cross-country invitational is now named in his memory.

Since Armstrong gave up his fight in August there have been many articles asking whether he is a villain or a hero - or maybe both.  Rick Reilly of ESPN came down solidly on the hero side.  He even asked people all over to wear yellow the Friday after this all went down in honor of Armstrong.
Nice sentiment - but I think that people who think this way are not understanding the depths of lying, threatening, and slandering that Armstrong has done over the last 20 years to keep the truth from coming out.  So which Armstrong is the real Armstrong?

I was listening to This American Life on NPR a few months ago.  They were talking about a psychological measurement on sociophathic disorder.  They talked about how many sociopaths live very normal lives.  CEO's even score higher on the scale than the average person.  Here is a list of common behavioral traits of sociopaths (from  -  checklists of H. Cleckley and R. Hare http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html)

Glibness and Superficial Charm

Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."

Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.

Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.

Incapacity for Love

Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.

Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.

Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.

Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.

Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.

Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.

Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.

Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.

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Other Related Qualities:

1. Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
2. Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
3. Authoritarian
4. Secretive
5. Paranoid
6. Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
7. Conventional appearance
8. Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
9. Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
10. Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
11. Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
12. Incapable of real human attachment to another
13. Unable to feel remorse or guilt
14. Extreme narcissism and grandiose
15. May state readily that their goal is to rule the world

 Now - I don't know Armstrong's sexual proclivities or whether he got in trouble as a child.  I also don't think that he's a parasitic individual or has stated that its his goal to rule the world - but the rest seems to fit pretty well.

Being a sociopath also explains how he could both ruthlessly manipulate teammates into keeping this doping secret and at the same time create a huge organization committed to fighting cancer.  Both of these activities had the same goal - to show his greatness to the world. 

He has used the raw emotions of people with cancer for 20 years in order to "seek out situations where his behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired."  That is sick.

All of this always has been and always will be about Armstrong.  Cancer fundraising won't collapse with Armstrong out of the public eye.  Foundations will continue to thrive - hospitals will continue to flourish.  People give money for cancer research because they have intimate experience with the disease - not because of Lance Armstrong's "character."

I will always remember that when Lance Armstrong was at his lowest - Rev3tri partnered with him and helped him to improve his image.  Overall they seemed like a pretty cool racing series - but, I know that I'll never race at one of their events.  They say that they are all about the athlete.  Just think about the pro's (some who have spoken out against Armstrong) having to race past the "Go Lance!" signs.  Think how that will make them feel about how seriously the public takes their health and safety.  The message is clear - dope up - and maybe one day the fans will be holding up signs with your name.

 

The Joy of Sisyphus

The day in Madison started with a checklist.  Hand in special needs bags.  Check air in bike tires.  Put bottle of Gatorade on bike.  Check on transition 1 bag.  Turn on myathlete gps.  Check on transition 2 bag.  Get body marked.  Apply body glide. Put on wetsuit.  Turn in morning clothes bag.

For a runner who only recently transitioned into triathlons I'm still not used to all the rigmarole associated with the sport, but I was able to make the rounds with plenty of time to spare.  I had heard the entrance to the swim is narrow - and that some people who wait too long find themselves just getting into the water as the cannon booms.  So, I went into the water just a few minutes after it opened up at 6:30am. 

I had almost 30 minutes in the water before the race start, but with the buoyancy of the wetsuit you actually don't have to expend much effort to stay afloat.  I tried to channel my grandfather who could float on his back in his pool.  He was so relaxed that sometimes he would even fall asleep.

As I calmly treaded water - I noticed I kept getting pushed out to the center of the lake by a current.  The effect of the current was that the 50 meters closest to the red buoy (marking the inside of the course) was packed with people.  About 5 minutes before the start I found myself in that mess.  There were people bumping into me on all sides.  Thank goodness I'm not claustrophobic, but I knew that I needed to at least try to find a less congested area.  I waded my way through people towards the shore and within 25 meters it thinned out.  At the start I was about 4th row from the front and nobody was within an arms length of me.

The announcer yelled "Today you will be an Ironman!" - we all cheered and about 30 seconds later we were off.  My last minute positioning change was key.  Yes, I certainly bumped into a few people at the beginning, but I didn't get any hard elbows or kicks.  In fact, there were only two incidents in the entire swim that were scary.  On the first turn (the turns are always more crowded) I got a pretty firm kick to the goggles and I also took in a bunch of water down the wrong tube a little later on.  Trying to cough out water from your trachea and swim at the same time is not exactly fun. 

I didn't check my watch the entire swim.  I decided it would mess up my rhythm and I might not like what I saw.  So, I was completely surprised and overjoyed to see 1:03 and change coming out of the water.  To put this in perspective, in June I swam over 40 minutes for the Kansas 70.3 (half the distance of an Ironman).  To be fair - the conditions were pretty bad at Kansas.  The temperature of the water meant that we couldn't wear wetsuits and there was a 20 mile per hour wind - which resulted in 2-3 foot whitecaps and a pretty brutal cross current. 

It was such a poor showing though that I decided I needed a coach to help me with my stroke.  Luckily the president of our local triathlon club also coaches a few of the athletes with swimming - so, he agreed to meet with me once per week.  He completely overhauled my stroke.  At first there was so much to think about that I was really uncomfortable.  But slowly I started to put it together - and the results are undeniable.  Thanks Jim!

Inside my mind I was jumping up and down at this point - but I tried to stay calm - I mean, I did have close to 9 hours left to go!  Madison is unique in that the transition areas are actually in the Monona Terrace building (designed by Frank Lloyd Wright).  The first transition is very long.  You have to make your way up a helix that is usually for vehicles to get to the parking lot.  The entire helix was filled with people cheering. 

As you enter the building they direct you to the room with your gear for the bike.  You pick up your bag and then make your way to the male changing tent.  In the changing tent there are people waiting to help you with whatever you need.  I took off my swimsuit and applied sun block - which stung a bit because the wetsuit tends to rub you raw in a few places.

The bike was relatively uneventful for the first 40 miles or so.  My goals had been 1:15 for the swim, 5:30 for the bike, and 3:00 for the run with 15 minutes for transitions etc for a total of 10 hours.  Since I was over 10 minutes faster on the swim than planned I was pretty relaxed at the beginning of the bike.  Although some people had told me to delay taking in gu's on the bike, I decided to load more of my calories early on the bike.  Overall my nutrition plan was to take in one gu every 30 minutes and a bottle of Perform per hour (basically gatorade with more salt) with water as needed.  I figured that since I had no calories during the swim that I should over compensate for the first few hours of the bike.  Instead of gu's every 30 minutes I took gu's (100 calories per) every 20 minutes for the first 2 hours of the bike.

The bike course is a stick and loop.  From Madison you make your way 16 miles to Verona where you begin a 40 mile loop - which you do twice before heading back to Madison.  Madison is known for having the second hardest bike course of any Ironman race in the U.S.  There are courses with longer hills - but there isn't a course with more consistent hills coming one after another.  Although there are hills all along the course there are three hills in particular that are infamous.  People even drive out, or take buses, to cheer people up the hills.  It's like a Tour de France atmosphere - with people in weird costumes - sometimes even running alongside the cyclists.

The oddest thing I saw was actually on the second lap.  About a mile a way from one of these hills I heard some strange horn noise - I looked over to the side of the road - and there in the bushes was a man dressed as a clown squeezing a clown horn with a very strange smile on his face.  I'm still not sure whether I just imagined the whole thing.

On my first lap I felt good - I powered my way up the hills pretty easily - making sure to stay in a small gear.  On the top of each hill I would quickly change to my big chain ring to take full advantage of the downhill.  On the 3rd hill I just made it over the top - as I tried to change gears I hear the sound of metal snapping.  I looked down in horror to see the picture below.  My front derailleur was split in two.

I had a good minute or two of panic - but then I quickly accepted my predicament.  There was a very small likelihood that the bike tech support on the course would have a front derailleur - and even if they did it would take more time to fix it than I would probably lose being restricted to my small chain ring.  I even tried to tell myself that it might be a good thing.  "On a course like Wisconsin that big chain ring can only get you into trouble!" I tried to convince myself.  This happened around mile 50 - so, I had over 60 miles to go with my bike in this condition.

On the flat and slight downhills I got passed constantly.  On the uphills I would pass people and on the steep downhills I didn't lose much time.  Overall though it was a little depressing - to know that I was getting passed because I didn't have my big chain ring was frustrating.  There wasn't much use in getting too upset - I still had a marathon to go - and since running is my strongest event - I figured I would pass most of them back. 

The only really scary moment on the bike involved a dog.  People - why do you bring dogs you can't control to a bike race?!  Did we learn nothing from the Tour de France this year?  I was heading down a decent hill on a wooded stretch of road at ~30 mph when I saw a loose ~70 lbs Dalmatian sprinting in my direction on along the right side of the road.  I veered toward the middle of the road and put on my brakes a little - just then one of the people with the luxury of having a big gear was passing me.  I didn't mean to - but I veered into her line - and without some good bike handling on her part we probably would have both gone down.

Having survived the dog my main concern now was a flat tire.  I had a string of flats in the late spring this year.  I think I was over inflating my tires - but, how often it happened certainly was in the back of my mind.  To make me even more paranoid the front race wheel that I had borrowed from a friend somehow went flat during my drive from Omaha.  Luckily I had brought my regular wheels in case something happened.  My road bike with clip-on aerobars, an aero race wheel on the back, and a regular training wheel on the front probably looked a little ridiculous compared to what everybody else was riding.

I limped my way back to Madison - coming in at 5 hours and 38 minutes - 8 minutes off of my goal.  Considering I was missing my big chain ring for half the race it wasn't awful.  Plus, I was feeling fresh from my forced coasting (there was no reason to pedal over 24 mph) and a little pissed from getting passed so often.  I also knew that I had a little bonus time from my swim.  At the start of the run I was at 6 hours and 55 minutes.  I needed to run a 3:05 marathon to meet my goal time.  Since my PR is 2:32 at Boston and Madison is a relatively flat course - I felt like that was doable.

I decided to not look at my watch the first few miles of the run.  I just wanted to get into a rhythm.  The first mile is almost completely downhill - although it's a gradual downhill - pretty much perfect for running fast.  I was passing people pretty quickly.  I finally looked at my watch at mile 4 - I was under 24 minutes.  It took me a second to do the math - but I soon realized I was well under six-minute pace.  I was feeling good - but I knew that was probably a little quick - so I dialed it down a notch.

The marathon course is two loops.  I knew that I would be one of the better age-group marathons of the day.  At Kansas I had the 7th fastest run of the day - 2nd fastest non-pro.  I thought I would stack up around the same place with the top pro's going about 10 minutes or so faster than me.  I had no expectation that I would be going at a faster pace than the leader.

Although it seems stupid looking back - that's why I didn't realize that I passed the leader on the Observatory Hill.  The official on the bike or the police motorcycle probably should have clued me in - but, I was kind of in mental autopilot.

The first thing I noticed was that more people seemed to be shouting my name.  I did have my name on my bib - I had heard a few people yell - "Go Benjamin!" early on in the run - since I go by Ben I knew they must be reading my bib.  Then I hear someone yell "Go Ben!" - only it was from so far away that there was no way he could have been reading my bib.  I thought - well, I know a few people who are spectating - they must know me - so I waved back in their direction.

Finally I put two and two together.  I ran past some college girls - and they said - "hey, they're both named Ben!" - then the bike came by and said "Lead runner coming through!".  I thought - I'm an idiot.  The guy I passed on the hill was in the lead - and apparently his name is Ben. It turned out to be Ben Hoffman - a top pro.  As he passed he muttered something under his breath - he was probably wondering what the hell I was doing waving at people cheering for him.

I decided to back off - I didn't want to impede him.  So, I just ran about 10 feet behind him.  I heard the lead bike radio-in that we were hitting 6:30's per mile - which was fine with me.  It also gave me someone to key off of - which makes keeping a pace much easier.  Around mile 22 for him (about mile 9 for me) - he started to slow.  I read an article today that he started to get some cramping around this point. 

I still wanted to keep my pace - and I started to overtake him, but I felt a little foolish for taking so long to recognize that he was winning the freaking race - and waving to people who were cheering for him - so, I decided to make a joke.  As I passed him I said - "if you take over 5 hours and 30 minutes on the bike - the run is much easier."  I think he chuckled.  I then sheepishly added - "my name is Ben too" - trying to explain why I was waving to fans clearly cheering for him.

He rode 4 hours and 38 minutes for the bike - a full hour faster than me.  The pace he averaged on a hilly course over 112 miles I would be lucky to average over 10 miles on a flat course.  Truly amazing.

The rest of the run went relatively smoothly.  I took perform, water, cola, and wet sponges at pretty much every stop - which are about once per mile.  I took a few chomps and one or two gu's.  The cola and perform seemed to keep my calorie count up sufficiently - plus I think my frontloading of calories on the bike probably helped.

Being a good runner in a triathlon is awesome.  Good swimmers do their thing away from the crowds and then have to get passed the rest of the race.  Good bikers also usually don't have many people to cheer them on - and even if they do - most spectators probably can't tell the difference.  By the time I was on my second lap I was passing people on their first lap who were shuffling or even walking.  It was especially fun near the bars - people seemed to pick up on the fact that I was running pretty strong - kids wanted to give me a high five - it was awesome.

I did have a tough spot around mile 21 - but by mile 23 I was thinking - "I just have a 5k - I can do anything over 5k".  With a mile to go I found myself very emotional.  I was going to make my goal of 10 hours with over 10 minutes to spare.  I was also going to kill my 3 hour goal in the marathon.  Over the last mile you start thinking about everything that has led you to this point.  You think about people who have inspired you, people who support you, people who have taught you things that made it possible to accomplish your goals on this day.  Over 20 years of racing I've never found myself choked up during a race until yesterday - that's why the Ironman is special.

In his book The Myth of Sisyphus, the philosopher Albert Camus discuses how the myth of the man forced to roll a rock up a mountain for perpetuity speaks to the absurdity of life.  In very stark terms Camus says there are several ways to react to the absurdity of life, but the only one that allows us to accept this absurdity and still see life as meaningful was "revolt".  The revolt happened not by overthrowing whatever power forced Sisyphus to roll that rock everyday - but rather by embracing his effort.  Camus wrote - "the struggle itself is enough to fill a man's heart.  One must imagine Sisyphus happy."

The transformative effect of the Ironman is that you become Sisyphus in a very tangible way.  Over the months of training you are rolling a rock up a hill everyday - sometimes with friends - but many times all by yourself.  On race day it might be a bigger hill and a bigger rock - but there is a great amount of joy to be found in all the people supporting you along the way - family, friends, and mostly strangers.  You don't have to imagine Sisyphus as happy - in the Ironman you find his smile on your lips.
   

One week to my first Ironman

It really feels weird typing that.

One week from today I will most likely be an Ironman.  I say "most likely" because complete confidence in an ironman only invites the wrath of the gods.  That being said - I feel like I'm in as good of shape as I could have hoped in order to have a successful day next Sunday.  What does successful mean?  Let's go through each discipline.

The Swim

The swim is a mass start - meaning that all ~2800 participants start the race at once.  From what I hear there is only a small entrance into the water - which means that you should try to get in around 20-25 minutes before the start of the race.  Yes, you might have to tread water for awhile (or hold onto a kayak) but it's worth it to be in better position.  I've also heard that the majority of the time you should expect to be slowed down by the people in front of you.  Periods of swimming in open water are few and far between.  To emphasize this there is a tradition of everyone yelling "Moo!" as they go around the first turn - feeling like cattle. 

I think the key is to not get too excited at the start of the swim.  It's a long day and I'm not the fastest swimmer anyways.  Better to go with the flow and remain calm during the first few minutes of "washing machine" craziness.  My goal for the swim is 1 hour and 15 minutes - which is pretty much in the middle of the pack. 

Transition 1 and the bike

If I do come in around 1:15 I'll have a lot of company.  My plan is to let the wetsuit strippers help me ( you basically flop down on the ground with your legs in the air and they literally strip off the wetsuit for you).  However I've been told that there might be a line - so, I'll have to play it by ear - I can always try to take it off myself while I'm hopping along in line.  The Wisconsin Ironman is a little different than most in that you have to run/jog/walk up a parking structure "helix" to get to transition.  I don't exactly want to be hitting V02 max at this point - so, I'll have to be ok with a few "motivated" people passing me.

The dressing rooms are in convention halls that are part of the Frank Lloyd Wright designed Monona Terrace.  Instead of wearing the same thing all day I'm going to go with comfort - I'll be wearing my normal bike shorts and a plain red/white cycling jersey with deep pockets in the back.  I most likely will put on some sunscreen as well.

The bike course is a 16 mile stick out to a 40 mile loop that you ride twice.  The first part of the bike is technically a no-passing area - so, again I will need to just keep my cool.  The bike course is generally rolling with a few "climbs".  I am so glad that I rode the course back in June.  I've seen everything except for the first/last six miles of the course.  As many people say - it's a course where you are constantly making choices.  I'm going to be paying close attention to my pedal rpm's - I'm most efficient ~90 rpms - much less than that and I should down shift.  There will be at least 3-4 times per loop where I'll be in my small ring.  It's not worth killing yourself up the hills - much better to sit back and spin up them.  Again - this requires a certain amount of patience - especially if you're getting passed by people.  But again - the mantra of the first half of the bike should be - "they'll come back to me on the run".

As for nutrition I'm planning on taking gu's every 30 minutes and downing a bottle of perform (similar to gatorade) plus some water every hour.  The aid stations are every 15 miles - which means I should be hitting them every 45-50 minutes - so, I should never be getting too low on my perform.  I will put some gu's on my belt and in the jersey pockets - but I'm also going to pick them up on the course.  This seemed to work out fine at the Kansas 70.3.

Even though the swim is going to be scary - I'm most worried about some kind of technical problem on the bike.  I'm going to be using some borrowed racing wheels that have tubular tires.  These tires are tough - but they are also glued on to the rim of the wheel - which means if you flat your day is done unless you can get a replacement wheel.  I've also had some issues with skipping gears when I'm shifting etc.  I took my bike to a shop yesterday and they tuned it up the best they could - so it should be fine - but there's always the chance something weird could happen. 

My goal for the bike is 5 hours and 30 minutes.  I went 2:35 at Kansas - so, I feel like that's doable. 

Transition 2 and the run

If I make it to the end of the bike relatively unscathed I'm going to be a happy guy.  The run is my strongest discipline and there is much less that is out of my control.  The second transition is a little quicker.  Everybody will be more spread out and you don't have quite as far to travel.  I'm going to change into a running singlet, running shorts, and training shoes.  Again - the name of the game at the beginning of the run will be patience.  There are huge crowds in Madison on the run course.  I just need to get into a rhythm. 

The run course is very flat.  There is one little rise on Observatory - but, it will only feel like a hill if I'm really hurting.  The course is on a mixture of roads, paved and gravel trails.  You even do a lap of the football stadium during each loop.  I've been told that the constant changing of surfaces can mess up your rhythm a little - but I don't think it should be too bad.

My goal for the run is 3 hours.  Yes, that seems a little quick - maybe even foolishly quick.  But I have a lot of confidence in my running right now. 

So what does that add up to?  1:15 swim + 5:30 bike + 3:00 run + ~15 minutes for transitions/bathroom breaks etc = 10 hours.

When I signed up for this race a year ago Kendra was in the middle of interviewing for the job in Omaha.  I picked Wisconsin because I knew Omaha would be a good place to train - regardless of what you may think Omaha is hilly.  It's not like the plains of central and western Nebraska - it's in the Missouri River Valley.  I also knew that this summer was going to be a relatively quiet time - I was between taking pre-reqs for physician assistant school.  So I had a lot of time to train.  In fact I'll probably never have that much time to train ever again.  In some ways I feel like I'm in the best shape of my life AND I don't have any nagging injuries for the first time in a long time.

I'm ready.

"Show me a hero and I'll write you a tragedy"

F. Scott Fitzgerald may have been a glass half empty kind of guy - but he had a point.  Heroes are set up to fall.  It's no accident that the culture which contributed most to western society was obsessed with heroes, tragedy, and sports.  Whether because of hubris or merely the passing of time - the hero can never stay in our mind as they were when they were great.  Can you picture Ali standing over Liston without also thinking of him trembling as he struggled to light the Olympic flame?  It was a great moment - but it was also a sad moment - as we were reminded that even the greatest athletes among us are susceptible to the ravages of disease.

I've written and talked many times about my contempt for dopers in sports, but even I will admit that Lance Armstrong accomplished a lot of positive things in his life.  I may question his motives, but nobody can question the results of raising $500 million for cancer research and inspiring millions of people. 

Another Armstrong was also in the news this week.  Neil Armstrong could have turned his first "small steps" into a political career or at least a lucrative endorsement/speaking career.  Instead he stayed out of the limelight - dedicating himself to pretty much exactly what he did before those first steps - as he put it "I am, and ever will be, a white socks, pocket protector, nerdy engineer."  Armstrong seems to be one of the few examples of a hero where there was no tragedy.  He seemed to understand the perils of trying to hold on to his moment for the sake of celebrity or fortune. 

It's hard to say whether there are any lessons to be learned from either of these men.  Maybe Neil could have done a lot of good in the world if he had been a little more hungry for fame and fortune.  And maybe the world would have been worse off if Lance had just said "no" to drugs - never won a Tour de France - and silently slipped off into obscurity.

I guess the world may need people like Lance - someone whose drive to be great pushes him to acts that are both good and bad - but a healthy society, IMHO, is one where we still hold him accountable for the bad and prefer our heroes to act like Neil.

One last quote from Neil Armstrong - of his first step, he said, "It was special and memorable but it was only instantaneous because there was work to do. We weren't there to meditate. We were there to get things done. So we got on with it."

If only I can remember that as I'm bobbing up and down in Lake Monona in a couple of weeks. 

   

Last Tune Up

After my poor swim at Kansas I decided I needed some more lessons.  I asked the president of Team Nebraska Triathlon, Jim, if he knew of anybody who could help me out.  He said that he was actually coaching a couple of guys already - and would be willing to help me out on a weekly basis.  I had already done a clinic with Jim and he gave me some great pointers - so, I was thrilled that he could help me out.  And when I asked how much he charged - he said he's do it for free! 

We've been meeting weekly for about six weeks by now.  My times in pool workouts have been getting progressively faster - but I knew that didn't always translate into fast times in an actual race.  So I was excited to test myself at the Omaha Triathlon Sunday morning. 

The main way in which I've improved since last year is being comfortable in open water with other people around.  In my first tri last May I almost hyperventilated.  I couldn't even swim with my head down without taking in a lot of water.  Jim suggested that I was probably holding my breath the first few strokes instead of exhaling fully - which was leading to me eventually being out of breath. 

The other major issue was my stroke.  Last year I was pretty much straight arming my stroke - which is very inefficient over longer distances.  In February I learned the "S" curve - where you push out at the beginning of the stroke and then sweep around and eventually bring your hand in just below your rib cage and push down (similar to the motion when you get out of the pool).  When I first started with Jim he noticed that I wasn't doing the first part of the stroke at all - I was bringing my hands close to my body way too early.  I needed to emphasize the sculling out part of the stroke at the beginning.  I also wasn't rotating my torso at all - which means I was generating less power with each stroke.

As the swim started on Sunday I felt pretty good - but after my first spot or two I could tell that I wasn't swimming in a straight line.  The week before I had noticed the same thing while swimming in Lake Manawa - where we train once a week  For some reason I was now swimming crooked.  That's the frustrating thing about learning to really swim.  Two steps forward and one step back.  After the race Jim suggested that maybe I was pushing off with my left arm - instead of using my abs to rotate my body when I was breathing on my right side - which caused me to veer to the right.  We're going to head out to the lake this weekend so that he can take a better look.

All of that is a long way of saying that I still wasn't happy with my swim on Sunday.  I ended up at 28:43 - which is certainly better than the 34 minutes that I swam last year, but I'd really like to be a consistent sub 25 minute 1500 meter swimmer.  My goal for Wisconsin is still 1:15 for the swim.  The challenge will be staying comfortable swimming with 2800 people in the mass start - but all those people might help me with a decent draft and keeping me in a straight line.  I'm also assuming that the swim will be wetsuit legal.  Wetsuits are especially helpful for remedial swimmers like me. 

Bottom line - learning to be a decent swimmer takes years.  Luckily biking and running have been going well for me this year - and very few triathletes are great at everything.  Suffering through at least one sport where you struggle seems to be a common theme. 

I was hoping to take it easy on the bike on Sunday - but with two of my training partners a few minutes up the road my competitiveness took over.  I love the bike.  There are constant adjustments to make on a hilly course such as Omaha's.  I usually keep track of how many RPM's I'm pedaling.  If I'm under 90 RPM than I probably need to get into an easier gear.  I've also learned that stamping on your pedals up a hill is usually a waste of energy.  Better to gradually spin up the hill - and then push a little at the crest.  The aero wheels help a lot too - being able to get a little more speed on the downhill means you don't need to work as hard up the next one.

At the turn around I could see that I was still a minute or two down to Gerald and another guy in our group - Caleb.  I also saw that the course was a little long - I was already at 13 miles - meaning the course was closer to 42 km than the traditional 40 km.  The way back was a little lonely.  Omaha Triathlon is only in it's 3rd year, so it's not very deep.

I wasn't sure what to expect on the run.  Based on how I had done at Kansas, Great Lakes Relay and the few track workouts I've done I knew I was in decent shape - but it had been awhile since I had really tested myself running.  Unfortunately there were no mile markers - so I just ran a pace that felt right.  I have to say that being a stronger runner is pretty fun in a triathlon.  If you're a great swimmer - there might be a few more cheers when you get out of the water first - but then you have to endure getting passed by people the rest of the race.  On the bike there's almost nobody on the course, but on the run (especially an out-and-back) you get all kinds of support from spectators and other participants. 

My run split ended up being slightly under my goal of 35 minutes - or sub-5:40 pace.  I even got the best running split of the day by over two minutes.  I ended up in 5th place overall.  I was just out of being in the top 3 Nebraskans - but the next place was 5 minutes in front of me - so I didn't feel too bad.  Overall it was a success - even with the slow swim.  I've learned that for me a successful swim sometimes just means identifying the problems so I know what to work on for next time. 

Expectations for a first Ironman can be a tricky thing.  I certainly want to take advantage of all the time I've had to train this summer.  With most likely starting school next year and then a full-time job - I might not have this much time to train ever again.  At the same time I want to have a good experience.  I definetely don't want to put myself into the red on the swim or bike - and I want to enjoy the run as much as possible.  Anything can happen in an event that long that you've never done before - but I feel like I've at least given myself a shot at having a successful day with my training so far.  My July totals were 34 miles of swimming, 629 miles on the bike, and 168 mile of running.

6/25-7/1

Monday: 1 hour swim 30 min run
Tuesday: 1 hour run (3 X 1 mile - 5:20; 5:10; 5:01)
Wednesday: 1 hour swim 2 hour bike 30 min run
Thursday: 1 hour
Friday: 1 hour swim
Saturday: 30 min swim (OWS) 2 hour bike with 13 mile TT 2 mile run (11:10)
Sunday: 1 hour run 1.5 hour swim
Total: 13.5 hours - 4 hours bike 6 hours swim 3.25 hours run

 

7/2-7/8

 

Monday: 1 hour swim 3 hour bike
Tuesday: 1 hour swim 30 min run
Wednesday: 4 hour bike 30 min run
Thursday: 1 hour run & weights
Friday: 1 hour swim
Saturday: 30 min swim (OWS) 2 hour bike 13 mile TT & 2 mile run
Sunday: 1 hour 45 min run 1 hour 30 min swim
Total: 18 hours - 9 hours bike 5 hours swim 4 hours run

 

7/9-7/15

Monday: 1 hour swim 3.5 hour bike 45 min run
Tuesday: 1 hour run
Wednesday: 1 hour swim
Thursday: 3.5 hour bike 45 min run 30 min swim
Great Lakes Relay Friday - Sunday

Friday: 1.5 hour run 10 miles in two legs at 5:30-5:45 plus warm-up and warm-down
Saturday: 1.5 hour run 10 miles in two legs at 5:30-5:45 plus warm-up and warm-down 20 min swim
Sunday: 1 hour run 5 miles in two legs at 5:05-5:30 plus warm-up and warm-down 30 min swim
Total: 17 hours - 7 hours bike 3.5 hours swim 6.5 hours run

 

7/16-7/22

Monday: 1 hour swim 3 hour bike
Tuesday: Day off
Wednesday: 3 hour bike 45 min run
Thursday: 1 hour swim 45 min run
Friday: 5 hour bike
Saturday: 1 hour 50 min run 40 min swim
Sunday: 40 min run
Total: 18 hours - 11 hours bike 3 hours swim 4 hours run

 

7/23-7/29

Monday: 1 hour swim
Tuesday: 1 hour run
Wednesday: 1 hour swim 3 hour bike 30 min run
Thursday: 1 hour 10 min swim
Friday: 1 hour swim 2 hour bike 45 min run
Saturday: 1 hour run
Sunday: 30 min swim 2 hour bike 2 mile run
Total: 15 hours - 7 hours bike 4 hours 40 min swim 3 hours 30 min run

 

7/30-8/5

Monday: 1 hour swim 45 min run
Tuesday: 1.5 hour swim
Wednesday: 1 hour swim 2.5 hour bike 30 min run
Thursday: 45 min run
Friday: 1 hour swim
Saturday: 1 hour bike 15 min run
Sunday: 30 min swim 1 hour bike 45 min run + 30 min swim in afternoon
Total: 12.5 hours - 4 hours bike 5.5 hours swim 3 hours run

 

This week

8/6-8/12

Monday: 1 hour swim 3 hour bike
Tuesday: 45 min run
Wednesday: 1 hour swim 3 hour bike 45 min run
Thursday: 1 hour run & weights
Friday: 1 hour swim
Saturday: 30 min swim (OWS) 4 hour bike
Sunday: 2 hour run
Total: 18 hours - 10 hours bike 3.5 hours swim 4.5 hours run

   

It's a Human Thing: We Run Hot

In the weeks leading up to the New York marathon the Times usually runs a long-form story on the sport of distance running.  You might think that those pieces are meant for the tens of thousands of runners who descend on "the city" that week.  But the articles are too disdainful and ignorant to appeal to actual runners.  My theory is that the articles are actually meant for millions of New Yorkers who are pissed off that their city is taken over for a few days by the marathon.  It's their chance to chuckle at the schmucks who are crazy enough to do one of these things.

Aware of this propensity to cast endurance athletes as crazy, I read most of the first paragraph of a NYT article on the life and death of Micah True with the pointer over the close button, anticipating that the author might take his death as a lesson that distance running was dangerous or some other garbage.  For those of you who don't know - Micah True was the central character in the book "Born to Run" - probably the most popular book on running ever.  Actually I liked the book a lot - it's a good read for runners and probably even non-runners too. 

The NYT article on True was actually fair and pretty good overall.  It centered on the attempted rescue of True in the Gila wilderness of New Mexico in March and is interspersed with the story of his life - there were both stories included the book as well as how his life changed as a result of the book.  True was a bit of a recluse and oddball, but you get the feeling that running saved him in many ways.  Running gave him meaning, fame, a little money, and even a girlfriend.

The idea which is highlighted by the title "Born to Run" is that the anatomical structure of humans cannot be explained except that long-distance running must have been greatly important to the survival of our ancestors.  We couldn't beat a gazelle in a sprint - but we could track the animal for 5-6 hours until our prey literally fell at our feet in exhaustion. 

Humans have been anatomically consistent for about 200,000 years.  It took 190,000 years of being distinctly human and surviving as hunter gatherers before the advent of agriculture.  Another way of looking at it is that for 95% of the history of humans on earth there were no couch potatoes.  As Thomas Hobbes said, life was "nasty, brutish, and short."  It may not have been pleasant, but the cruelty of nature had left us with bodies that could do astounding things.  Insanely amazing actions were necessary to survive, reproduce, and protect offspring - so, only the humans with bodies capable of performing those insanely amazing things had offspring who survived.

I'll never be one to say negative things about the comforts of modern life.  I love that I'm typing this in an air-conditioned house and that once I click publish somebody from the other side of the planet could potentially read it.  I love that I could be anywhere in the world in less than 24 hours or that I could have access to almost any piece of music that's been recorded or any movie that's ever been filmed in a couple minutes.  The flip side is of course that modern life has allowed us to be very, very lazy with no real immediate consequences. 

To take a metaphor - they say that the easiest way to ruin a high-performance race car is to only use it to go get groceries or commuting.  The car is designed to go fast for long periods of time - and it can actually damage the engine if it doesn't do what it was designed for.  The same is true of our bodies.  The challenges of the natural world gave us our bodies.  In order to keep our bodies running well we have to recreate the types of challenges that our bodies would have experienced 50,000 years ago.

I feel lucky.  I knew how natural and important running was to my body way before I ever read a word of "Born to Run."  I've probably told this story before, but when I was 6 or 7 years old I was one of those kids who had more energy than I knew what to do with. My mom - in part to make sure I'd go to sleep at a reasonable hour - would suggest "why don't you run around the outside of the house for awhile?"  So that's exactly what I would do.  I would go dashing around the house feeling the wind through my hair, taking the corners tight and hard, and getting a little runners high before finally collapsing.

One time we were on vacation visiting some family friends.  I hadn't had one of my house runs in awhile - so I asked my mother if I could run around their house.  Even though the other family looked askew at my bizarre request I was given permission.  Unfortunately I went full bore into my first lap - without checking the course for obstructions - I think I just assumed the layout would be similar to my house.  I didn't see the dog house coming around the corner until it was too late.  I ended up with some butterfly stitches on my cheek and an important lesson - always do a course preview before any race.

In that spirit - I was in Madison this weekend for the Wisconsin Brick Adventure.  WIBA, as they call it, is put on by the Evotri team - with a couple of local sponsors.  They charged $0 (shh - don't tell them how much money they could have made!).  About 120 people showed up.  On Friday there was a dinner and course talk.  On Saturday morning there was a swim - it wasn't on the actual course - but it was in the same lake very close to the actual start. 

We then went out to the near town of Verona which is where the bike loop starts.  The Wisconsin bike course heads out to Verona from Madison and then there are two loops of a 40mi course out in the Wisconsin farm country.  The loop is rolling - with at least 3 decent hills.  The main reason that I was out there was to see the bike course.  Everyone I had talked to said that riding the bike leg intelligently is the key to having a good day.  For Wisconsin this means anticipating hills and turns so that you can be in the right gear.  It also means knowing which sections you want to coast through and which sections you might want to push it a little bit.  Finally - it means understanding that a couple of the hills are so long that you need to just get into a small gear, sit down, and spin your way up as efficiently as possible.

I ended up with a little over 100 miles on the day.  I did the loop twice and then 10 miles out and back on the "stick" part of the course.  During the first loop I ended up going back and forth with a friendly guy from Chicago - so, we ended up riding the rest of the way together as well as running 30 minutes after the bike.

On Sunday we ran one loop of the run course.  Except for one gentle rise (it might seem worse on race day) the run course is pretty flat.  There are a lot of turns and changing of surfaces - but I don't see why I couldn't run a fast time if I paced the bike properly and kept on top of my nutrition.  The other key to the run course is that there is a lot of cheering support - I don't care who you are - it helps.

I feel really good about my chances of a successful race in September at this point.  I wasn't sure how my body would react to 20 hour weeks, but I feel great.  99.9% of people think even the training for the Ironman is harmful to your body, but I've never felt or looked (so my wife tells me) better.  Maybe our bodies were made for this level of activity - maybe we were made to run hot.

6/11-6/17

Week after Kansas 70.3
Monday: 1 hour swim
Tuesday: 1 hour bike
Wednesday: 1 hour swim 3 hour bike 45 min  run
Thursday: 1 hour run
Friday: 1 hour swim 2 hour bike 45 min run
Saturday: 4 hour bike 30 min run
Sunday: 2 hour run 1 hour 20 min swim
Total: 19 hours - 10 hours bike 4 hours swim 5 hours run

6/18-6/24
Monday: 1 hour swim 3.5 hour bike 30 min run
Tuesday: 1 hour run (4X1200 4:02 3:58 3:36 3:47) 90 degrees/windy
Wednesday: 1 hour swim 30 min run
Thursday: 3 hour bike 1 hour run
Friday: 1 hour swim (2X500 yards both in 7:18) 30 min run
Saturday: 1 hour swim 5.5 hour bike 30 min run
Sunday: 1.5 hour run
Total: 21.5 hours - 12 hours bike 4 hours swim 5.5 hours run

Planned:

6/25-7/1

Monday: 1 hour swim 30 min run
Tuesday: 1 hour run (mile repeats)
Wednesday: 1 hour swim 2 hour bike 30 min run
Thursday: 1 hour 40 min swim
Friday: 1 hour swim 30 min run
Saturday: 30 min swim (OWS) 2 hour bike hour run (probable brick workout)
Sunday: 1 hour 50 min swim
Total: 14.5 hours - 4 hours bike 7 hours swim 3.5 hours run

Unadulterated Excellence

It might seem odd to have "unadulterated" in the title of a post that shows a mile race that took place three years before a test for EPO existed.  A race where no one has run faster than the top two runners since and that was 13 years ago next month.  A race where 16 men ran under 3:56.
First of all - I was there.  Don't believe me?  Here is a link to an interview with Kevin Sullivan from runmichigan.com where he gave an account of the race.  "As the officials walked us from the call room onto the track at the 200m mark, and down the backstretch, I saw a familiar face. My teammate from Michigan Don McLaughlin, his girlfriend and Michigan runner Michelle Slater, and former Pioneer standout and current Loyola athlete Ben Ingrham."
Ok - they spelled my name wrong - but it's exciting anytime that a man who was once 5th in the Olympics and Canadian record holder (3:50.26) calls you a "former standout" - especially when Don and Michelle were much more impressive runners than me.  Don was on at least two Penn Relays DMR championship teams with Kevin - as well as being Big Ten indoor mile champ.  His then girlfriend - now wife - Michelle was an All-American at Michigan. 
Don and I were teammates in high school.  He is a year older than me - his senior year we won the cross country title for the state of Michigan and were ranked 3rd in the country ahead of the famous team from York, IL.  We also were on a state champion 4X800 (7:48) team that also had the 3rd best time in the country that year. 
Don, Michelle and I were on a seven week eurorail trip.  We traveled to Paris, Brussels, Amsterdam, Copenhagen, Berlin, Cologne, Interlaken, Rome, Barcelona, Pamplona, London - and probably a few more that I'm forgetting.  I'm not sure which one of us suffered most from our obviously bad idea of traveling for seven weeks as a couple and a single dude (who could be a little bit of a smart ass at the age of 22) but we have somehow remained friends.  I'm looking forward to running with Don next month at the Great Lakes Relay in Michigan. 
The first time I saw Kevin run was probably my junior year of high school.  It was an early year indoor invitational.  I can't remember if it was a DMR or a mile - but I do remember that it was the first time I saw someone run sub-4:00 up close.  He ran ~3:57.  What struck me as a high school athlete was how relaxed he was.  I remember the first time he came around - I thought there was something wrong with his jaw.  He almost looked like he had been given a muscle relaxer in his cheeks.  They shook with each step.  It was the first time I realized that you cannot run fast without running relaxed. 
I did get invited to walk-on to the Michigan team.  I even had a meeting with Ron Warhurst who brought in myself and my high school teammate and multiple-time state champion Todd Snyder.  Ron had probably heard that Todd and I were good friends because he mentioned that we could room together.  What Ron probably didn't know at the time was that Todd had been dating my sister for the last nine months - and the thought of waking up with the two of them on the bottom bunk wasn't exactly a draw.
In the end I decided to go to Loyola Chicago. 1) I loved Chicago - still do. 2) I got a little money which made the private school cost the same as in-state tuition for UM.  3) I knew that I wouldn't get any attention from the coaches at Michigan.  They had an insane amount of talent already - and Todd wasn't even the top recruit in his class - his roommate ended up being John Mortimer who was second at the 1994 Footlocker National Championship.
Even though I left Ann Arbor for college I was back most breaks and ran and hung out with my friends from high school - which meant I ran and hung out with the Michigan team.  I don't say this to name drop - but merely to say that I had as close of a view into a team as someone can have without being on the team.  My friend Don trained with Kevin 300+ days a year for at least four years.  If Kevin had been into enhancing his performance through illegal drugs - I would know.
Kevin is a freak of nature.  He still has world age-group record for 800m for 14 year olds - 1:53.03.  He also happens to be incredibly nice and giving person.  In my mind Kevin was and is what I true champion should be.  Given the time period he competed it's hard not to think about how he was most likely cheated out of a couple of Olympic & world championship medals. 
I haven't talked to Kevin directly about how he feels - but my sense talking to his teammates is that he tried to not let it bother him.  That rather than let it consume him he just did his thing and hoped that the dopers got caught.  That's why I cannot forgive or condone doping in any sport.  The people who get robbed are people like Kevin - and that really pisses me off.
I'm a believer that the only way to change the culture of doping is shaming people.  Maybe that seems somewhat unforgiving or cruel - but I think the current situation is cruel - that our most talented athletes have to either give in to cheating and taking unnecessary health risks or live the rest of their lives wondering "what if?"